Hug, Comfort, Heal
by Kitty K
One day, I met my friend Nancy and listened to her emotional journey and the grief she experienced after her mother passed away less than a month ago. When we finished our lunch, Nancy asked if I was free in the afternoon. As I gazed at Nancy’s expression, I realised that she might need my help with something else. It turned out that Nancy had a friend called Ruby whose husband had suddenly died from an illness. While I did not know Ruby very well, I knew the sudden death of a loved one can cause family members to have a mental breakdown. This was a traumatic event that required our support, so we set off immediately.
Ruby ran over as soon as she saw me, and I gave her a big hug. She cried uncontrollably on my shoulder, and said that I had given her such a hug several years ago. That hug had given her great deliverance and healed the wounds that she had been carrying for forty years from her great-grandmother’s death. It was the first time I heard about this.
I also gave her a hug that day, but this time it was because her ex-husband had passed away suddenly. She asked, “Why is happiness always so short-lived?” It turned out that Ruby had divorced her husband many years ago. However, half a year ago, she admitted her mistakes to him and they were planning to remarry. Immersed in the rekindling flames of love, she had not expected this sudden turn of events. She felt that God was playing tricks on her. As she cried and shared the details little by little, I comforted and guided her, while calming her down amidst her grief.
Being with people who grieve is part and parcel of our care ministry. Death is not the end point of our caring work, rather it is the continuation of caring or the start of a new opportunity to care. This helps me better understand that caring for others well can heal their hearts.